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depression | Poetry | William Cody Winter .Com

My Poetry Blog

Sequor quod iustum est

I Just Don’t Feel Anymore! (poem 24)

I Just Don’t Feel Anymore!
 
 
I once felt the gut spin of nervousness.
I once felt the heart flutter for an ill-placed crush.
I once felt the sinking sensation of disappointment.
 
But now I just don’t feel any more.
Frankly I just no longer give a damn.
 
I once felt the rush of excitement.
I once felt the anticipation of hope.
I once felt the heat of anger.
 
But now I just don’t feel any more.
Frankly I just no longer give a damn.
 
I once felt that I needed Love.
I once felt that I needed Success.
I once felt that I needed Money.
 
But now I just don’t feel any more.
Frankly I just no longer give a damn.
 
 
I Just Don’t Feel Anymore!
 
 
 
 
Copyright © 2012, William Cody Winter.

The Horror In The Mirror (poem 22)

I have been plagued for quite some time by a horrific image in the mirror.
As I approach a mirror I must do so with great trepidation, for what I see there is a monstrous image.
 
It is a monstrous being with no saving graces, grotesque to the very point of making a person recoil with disgust.
Just the sight of it with the realisation that such a thing could exist makes all who see it give up on humanity.
 
I have been plagued for quite some time by a horrific image in the mirror.
As I approach a mirror I must do so with great trepidation, for what I see there is a monstrous image.
 
How could such an abomination exist?
How could such a crime against nature roam this land?
 
I have been plagued for quite some time by a horrific image in the mirror.
As I approach a mirror I must do so with great trepidation, for what I see there is a monstrous image.
 
What I see is something with no life, no intellect, no future and no hope.
Then I finally realised what it was in the mirrors, it was just... my own reflection.
 
 
 
Copyright © 2011, William Cody Winter.

One Day Unto My Grave I Go (poem 19)

One day let my grave stone stand towering and superior above all others.
For one day this is all that shall remain of my legacy.
 
One day unto my grave I shall go, a body given back to the earth.
But let not my name be forgotten as my body remains rotting.
 
One day let my final words be ones of honour.
For one day this is all that shall remain of my legacy.
 
One day let my epitaph read "“I came, I saw, I did it all……. But thank god thats all”".
For one day this is all that shall remain of my legacy.
 
 
Copyright © 2011, William Cody Winter.
 

The Black Cloud (poem 16)

I woke up this morning and laid there.
I kept my eyes shut, contemplating on my life.
I felt like my life was flashing in front of me.
I only saw the bad times and never the good.
I finally decided to open my eyes, but only physically.
 
There hovering above me was a big black cloud.
There was a huge weight on my shoulders and I struggled to breath.
 
I leaped out of bed, threw on my clothes and charged out the door.
I walked and walked, it was all I could do.
I looked behind me just to see the cloud following me.
I felt alone and trapped.
I then realised I was in a forrest surrounded by large oak trees.
 
How did I get here?
 
Then I saw it just a few feet away, a beautiful large pond.
I removed my clothes and leaped in head first.
 
The water was ice cold, but refreshing.
I was still underneath the water when it happened again, my life
flashed before me.
This time it was different, I saw the good times.
 
I saw the birthdays, the christmases and the laughter.
I saw a future of happiness, laughter and smiles.
I felt the universe shift and the sun shone brightly above the oak trees,
the black cloud evaporated as if by it’s rays.
 
I sprung from the water reborn, new of heart, new of mind.
 
 
 
 
Copyright © 2011, William Cody Winter.

Too Good (Poem 13)

You were too good for me.
You saw it.
I denied it.

My eyes dilated.
My heart pounded.
My mind drifted.

You were too good for me.
You saw it.
I denied it.

I was in awe of you.
I saw a chance for happiness with you.
I saw an ever lasting fairy tale.

I dreamt of romance.
I dreamt of roses, diamonds and warm smiles.
I dreamt of a chance with you.

But I was the only one with these thoughts.
I was the only one who had hopes of us.
Now I see it could never have been.

You were too good for me.
You saw it.
I denied it.


Copyright © 2011, William Cody Winter.

From Worms and Maggots to Heaven and Hell (poem 12)

I didn’t believe in Heaven and Hell.
I didn’t believe in Ghosts and Angels.

I only believed in death’s fatal cold embrace.
I only believed in worms and maggots.

I didn’t believe in Heaven and Hell.
I didn’t believe in Ghosts and Angels.

I only believed in death’s fatal cold embrace.
I only believed in worms and maggots.

But over the years I’ve seen deaths image.
But over the years I’ve heard deaths voice.

My eyes and ears didn’t fail me.
The cameras didn’t lie to me.

Now I believe in some kind of Heaven and Hell.
Now I believe in Ghosts.

Now I don’t fear the cold box.
Now I don’t fear the Worms and Maggots.

I welcome deaths warm embrace!



Copyright © 2011, William Cody Winter.

I wake up to sleep again (Poem 8)

I sleep til one pm
I lay there eyes closed for twenty minutes
What will I see if I open them?
Nothing
Nothing but the dull grey vortex that is my life

It’s the same old thing day after day.
So I turn back over and go to sleep.
That sweet sleep, the oblivion of living death

Life has no meaning, so I visit that oblivion of living death,
I sleep my life away, for I have no life to waste

Sleep Sleep Sleep
I sleep till one pm
I lay there eyes closed for twenty minutes
What will I see if I open them?
Nothing
Nothing but the dull grey vortex that is my life

Sleep Sleep Sleep
Why be awake in that boredom, and depressing reality of failure.
Why not visit the sweet oblivion of living death
So I do.

I Sleep Sleep Sleep.


Copyright © 2010, William Cody Winter.